Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I don't want to survive

I stood in the shower this morning crying to God…."please take me home!".  Some days the pain is still so raw.  I know as a child of God that is such a selfish prayer. I know somewhere deep down inside of me I don’t really mean it.  It’s like someone in physical pain who just wants relief.
So as my tears mixed with the shower water that was pounding me in the face, a line I heard in a movie flooded my mind…
“I don’t want to survive….I want to live.”
So I got dressed, grabbed my camera and went to one of my favorite little spots.
I’m trying to live… not just survive…
Some days the only way I know how to do that is to find beauty through the lens of my camera…




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8 comments:

  1. Sharon SoltDecember 10, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    Oh Anna, I can relate. Your photography is just beautiful and you my dear, are not going to only survive and live, but also thrive and live!! You are blessed! On those days we feel sad, it's nice to know we can sit at the feet of our Abba Father and lean on Him. Blessings to you sweetie!

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    1. ~Must Love Dogs~December 10, 2013 at 10:05 PM

      Thank you Sharon I know you understand raw days with the loss of your dad and I just pray Gods comfort over you as well. Hugs....And again thank you so much for the encouraging words.

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  2. stellaroselongDecember 10, 2013 at 4:39 PM

    I think you are so very brave. Its hard enough to write those words so they are out there for all to read, because with words we are really projecting the pain in our heart and soul. It leaves us vulnerable. You are so brave. You face each day and I have seen you give so much love through your pictures to your granddaughter and family and of course all of your four legged kids that depend so much on you. I am not sure which is the hardest the surviving or the living; maybe it just the not knowing what is up around the bend of the new day. I wish had had more answers. Please continue to share those most beautiful pictures and your words....we often find ourselves in them.
    Stella Rose's Momma

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    1. ~Must Love Dogs~December 10, 2013 at 10:03 PM

      Thank you Stella you're right it is hard to bare your soul for the world to see but it's also healing to just be able to get it out. Thank you for listening to my soul today....means a lot to me. :)

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  3. Lovable LilyDecember 11, 2013 at 8:14 AM

    I KNOW YOU ARE STRONG AND ARE A SURVIVOR! (I think Stella Rose said it best so I won't get into it) but DON'T make me come over there and slap you :)

    Love you my Blogging Sister!
    Kim

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    1. ~Must Love Dogs~December 11, 2013 at 8:39 AM

      If getting a visit from you means I have to deal with a slap I'll take the slap any day. Lol! You crack me up woman! How are you, how is grandpa Bob how are the weens?
      Oh wait I just seen you blogged ... I'm coming to visit....


      Hugs and much love right back at ya!

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  4. AnneDecember 13, 2013 at 11:46 PM

    You nailed it!! You found the beauty through your lens in God's creation. Praying for you sweet Anna.

    Big Hugs,
    Anne

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