Having a ME day

Don’t treat me like I’m different, don’t treat me like I’ve changed …even though I’m sure I have…of course I have …half of me is gone.  But part of me is still here. The me that’s ME…the me that’s me without Richard. Maybe you don’t like that person. I don’t know… I don’t care.  I guess I’m finding out who really does.

 Don’t treat me like I’m defected now that it’s just me.  Only God can take apart what He has put together.  And He has taken Richard/Anna apart and now it’s just Anna. Sorry, and yeah I would change it if I could …but I can’t… and I won’t let you.  

I guess I’ve entered the angry stage of grieve…can you tell?…lol

You see ME!

             

Silent Sunday

My new pet skunk

Nah, it’s just Lil Ricky.

I know I’m such a stinker...Hehe

Who let the dogs post

I’m feeling a bit under the weather with a cold today so I’m handing over the blog post to the dogs.

Let me know if they misbehave. 

Today Mommy’s blog is 1 years old …and because Mommy doesn’t feel well… and we know that makes Mommy miss Daddy even more…we asked Jesus to do something very special for her. Like give her a big yummy pigs ear… because that’s what she does when we have a special day. But mommy overheard us and said... “The best gift you could give me my sweet fur children… is to be good little puppies for Mommy today.” So now we are asking for you to pray we can do just that. Because maybe if we are really good Mommy will give us a yummy pigs ear. 

Eyes wide open

Tomorrow will be one year since I started this blog.

The reason I started blogging and the reason I keep blogging

have become completely different.

I started blogging to express my passions in life…

now I blog to keep passion in my life.

Not knowing in this year’s time my eyes would become wide open to a degree of pain and sorrow to which the depth of I did not fathom you could feel and still be breathing.

Blogging has for me become a way to either express that pain,

forget that pain…

Or allow myself to feel that pain without breaking into a million pieces.

Thank you for journeying with me J

The power of a listening ear.

Many years ago my husband gave me one of his business card with this on the back of it.

What it is, is a promise to "listen”. 

That if at any time in our marriage I did not feel like I was being heard I could present this card and he would do his best to give me 100% of his attention. Whether he was in the middle of a busy day or even if we were in the middle of a "heated discussion" he honored this. When I came across it this morning I realized what a precious gift I had been given. …not the card…. but the gift of feeling like I was heard. I realize that gift of feeling so cherished is what causes me to relate to God in the way that I do. Because if a man…a flawed man… (Yes even my sweet Richard had flaws, but trust me I can't think of a one right now)… could love me so deeply how much more does my Heavenly Father love me. So now when I look at this card with all the precious memories behind it I’m reminded …God is always listening and he hears my cries.

I hope you know that you have a listen card with Jesus. 

And you can pull it out anytime.

Can you hear me now?

I love how dogs talk to one another. They may not have words but they sure have a language. And after years of being around them I’ve learned to read it pretty well.

Like this look right here. It’s saying… “Ok... you need to get out of my face!" Well because Lil Ricky is a pup she either didn’t get it or didn’t care because she just wanted to play.  

So this was the next lesson in doggie language

  she got….

And just in case she didn’t get that one …there is always the white ninja Binny lurking in the corner ready to pounce…LOL

Unquestionably the school of hard knocks for Lil Ricky today.

But for now order is back in the pack and everyone is calm.

Dogs find their greatest security when they know where they fit in the pack.

Even in their play this is always being established. 

In a way I envy the simplicity of their society.  Everyone knows where they fit and if they are new they quickly learn.  I think one of the reason I have such success rehabilitating dogs is because I have a pack and they really do the work for me. Believe it or not I feel I've learned more from my pack then they have ever learned from me. And God has often spoken to me through observing and interacting with them many life lessons.

 In the first few weeks after Richard died it was so overwhelming to deal with a pack of dog all by myself and It just seemed like there was no way I could do this without Richard. I would say to God how could you take him home when we had so many dogs yet to care for... Couldn't you wait till the pack was thinner? But now I realize He knew I was going to need a pack of dogs to get me through the most difficult, lonely time of my life.  Now I say to God... thank you for this wonderful gift you have given me and allowed me to be part of.

And yes I hear you loud and clear Lord....you really know what you’re doing.... You are the best pack leader of all! :)

 May I always know where I fit with just one glance from your eyes.

  

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. Psalm 16:11