Failed the test

Hurricane Sandy hit us Monday night. I have to say it was one of the scariest nights of my life. Wind wiping… trees falling all around us…power out for 24 hours. The dogs were a pack of scaredy cats and I was no better.  In fact I just lost it at one point and said some pretty harsh things to God which I had to ask him to forgive me for when I came back to my right mind.  “I told him “I thought you’re my husband now? Well Richard did a better job than this!” I know what a horrible thing to say to such a good God. I feel like a heel.  L  Then the power came back on and I started seeing what happened in NY and NJ and all up and down the east coast and I really felt like a heel. I just sat in front of my tv and cried. Cried for the people who lost everything...cried at the unbelievable destruction. Cried because I miss my Richard so bad and I hate life without him! We really never know what’s in us till we go through the test :/ 

I failed so miserably.  

My heart and prayers go out to all who were affected so profoundly by this storm.

A few weeks before Richard went home to the Lord I went to Ocean Grove NJ. The next two pictures I took when I was there... take note of the pier and fishing shack off in the distance. 

The next few pictures I took off the internet of the same pier after Sandy...

Again, one of my photos...

...and after Sandy

Sigh...

Sorry todays blog is so gloomy.

I know in my head I will be happy again someday.

But right now my heart just don't feel it.

I just feel very sad :(

My First Monster Storm...

 A.K.A. A Bath!

I think I survived :(

Sandy Sunday

I feel the need to break my silence today to say to all my friends in the path of Hurricane Sandy stay safe and dry. You are all in my prayers.  We battened down the hatches and are going to just have lots of snuggle time with the doggies.

Who needs an excuse to snuggle with this…right? J

Silent Sunday

Peter Pan

I have seen many little dogs that have what they call “big dog syndrome”. Which is a small dog with a big dog attitude… however Jebbo is the first dog I have known that has “little dog syndrome”. He just doesn't want to grow up.

He is so determined to fit in places he just doesn’t really fit…but somehow he makes it work.

Well I guess if he is Peter Pan then this must be his little Tinkerbell …hehehehe


That is Little Ricky trying out her new ferret harness. It's the only thing I could find that fit her.

And of course the child in me can't talk about Peter Pan without posting my favorite Peter quotes :D

You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.

So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.

Think of all the joy you'll find when you leave the world behind.

 

It's a jungle out there

What a 1lb puppy looks like after a morning walk in the wet grass. It’s like getting a walk and a bath all in one…hehehehehe.

I truly am amazed by the wonder of God’s creation more than ever. Maybe because I think a lot about heaven and what Richard must be experiencing.  When I look around at the things I enjoy here on earth I often wonder... what does that look like in heaven?

Earth is a reflection of heaven. I heard someone say it like this…”In Genesis God says he planted a garden…well where do you think he got the seeds from?”   If puppies are this cute on a fallen earth …how awesome must they be in heaven!  I can’t image them being more perfect then they already are.  Like this puppy…that in her world 3 inch grass is a jungle… we only have one perceptive now.  Oh but one glorious day we will see in full!

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:12

I'm in love...

Everyone meet Little Ricky!  This is a very special little girl… yes I said girl… If a boy can be named Sue then a girl can be called Ricky.  What makes her so special to me is not just the unbelievable cuteness she oozes but she was actually born the day my beloved Richard went home to be with Jesus.  The day we celebrated Richard going home his aunt told me his nickname when he was a little boy was Ricky.  A few weeks ago when I shared that with a friend of ours I told her in a few years  I want one more pet dog …a black and tan little boy Dachshund and I’m going to name him “Little Ricky”. Well God had another plan and she’s not a "he" and she’s not a "Dachshund"… She’s a 1lb Yorkie and she‘s my “Little Ricky” and even though she won’t know her Daddy this side of heaven she will know a blessed, blessed life.  Her coming into my life at this time was more perfect then I knew.  As you can tell I have had bloggers block... I’ve also had no desire to pick up my camera the last few weeks…but because I just had to share her sweetness I’m doing both :)   What my heart has been going through I don’t even have words for yet.  All I can say is God is still God and He is still good and even though my life feels so overwhelming at times right now... I cling onto Him because He never changes.  I can say the day’s that the sorrow has tried to consume me the grace and love of God has always been a greater force to push it back as I lean into my Jesus. I know one day this wilderness time will end.  My prayer is to come out like this verse in the Song of Solomon.  “Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?”   Lord let it be me.

Yes I am in love.... with a Lord who knows how to comfort me in ways there are no words for.



Silent Sunday

A bonton

Shannie came to me one day and said… “Grammy I’m such a bonton”…My reply to that was…“a what?” And through a pretty in-depth conversation I finally figured out what she was trying to say.  She was trying to tell me she was a “tomboy”. To this day we often giggle when we find her doing tomboyish things and even started calling it being a bonton.

Well Sunday she proved to me yet again she is such a bonton tomboy. I had her all dressed up for church and told her go outside while I got the dogs situated because I wanted to get a few pictures before we leave.  Well this is where I found her…

Yep, that’s our bonton!

Silent Sunday

Don't fall for my smile

Every year I love to find that perfect place to take fall foliage pictures. This year it was Promised Land State Park.

That bench was so inviting, It was like it was saying "come sit a spell"…so I did.

Wasn’t long and I found myself a friend…a furry one of course.

And I totally enjoyed watching him play in the water.

I did have a none furry friend with me. This is how I found her at one point when I came around a stone wall.

This was her view of that shot. Love the polish girl…LOL

The next few shots are her work…not bad for a newbie!

Sweet stuff Gina :)

Lord only knows what she looked like to get that shot…LOL

I’m enjoying my camera but like I said to my girlfriend …”I’d smash it with a sledgehammer if it meant I could have my Richard back”.

Enjoying myself is so bitter sweet right now…there is always a held back tear behind every smile.