Friday, November 30, 2012

Dinner for almost 4

I hosted my very first dinner party since Richard went home to Jesus. It was small only 3 of us…well almost 4 because my daughter was there with that beautiful grandbaby growing inside her. J

I just made homemade soup and salad.
And we had this yummy cake for dessert.
I think you can gain weight just looking at this…lol.

And of course the only way to truly end all the festivities is while you walk the guest out your naughty little puppy eats the toilet paper roll.

I hope I made you proud my love...Our home is still a sanctuary for our friends and family… it may be a lot simpler but it’s still done with much love! J

Thursday, November 29, 2012

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas

I know I have the cutest Santa’s little helper this year.
Elves got nothing on you baby!
But she also is very naughty and thinks ever Christmas bauble is a new toy just for her.

She’s perfect for a Christmas display…but the problem is I can’t figure out how to get her to sit there for a month.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

My Honey do list

I was being silly with the Lord one day recently and changed the title of my prayer list to “my Honey do list”. I figured Lord since you’re my husband now that’s what I’ll call it. hehehehe.  Any religious folks out there are probable gasping with horror…but the Lord knows my heart and I mean no disrespect at all.  So I'm telling you all this so I can make clear to my snow hating friends how blessed they really are. Yes snow was on that list… but I didn't just write snow, I wrote "SNOW, BIG SNOW!" So my Honey was kind to you by dumping only these few inches. Well anyway the dogs and I sure enjoyed ourselves immensely.
Thank you Honey!



Snowflake, snowflake on my fur
Snowflake, snowflake you make me BRRRR
Snowflake, snowflake that’s ok
I’ll get warm another day
So please Mr. Snowflake won’t you stay


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The island of misfit toys...

Welcome to the island of misfit toy dogs

It’s funny what you can relate to when you are going through a rough time. Last night I put in the dvd of Rudolph thinking that would be a safe carefree thing to watch, I made the mistake over the weekend putting on the Hallmark channel and got sucked into melancholy land…there should be a ticker across the bottom of that channel that reads (do not watch this at Christmas time if your grieving the loss of a loved one!).  So anyway I though Rudolph would be safe. Well I was good until it got to the island of misfit toys.  Then the meltdown began. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would relate to a stupid cartoon about an island of misfit toys waiting to find a place to belong.  And how they get there is... every night King Moonracer (which is a flying loin) searches the entire earth for misfit toys and brings them back to the island till someone wants them.  Hallmark you sure you didn’t write this?!
I feel like such a misfit right now. I don’t fit in my old world I don’t fit in my new world. I’m just hanging out on this island of misfits waited to find a place to belong again.  
Don't get me wrong I don't feel unloved. I know I'm loved. I just don't feel like I fit anywhere.  In my marriage to Richard even if the world around me was shaky I still always felt I fit somewhere because of our love.  But now my world is shattered. I feel like a train with square wheels or a water gun that shoots jelly. Yes I can so relate to Charlie in the box jack..... I get you man!  I read this in a book recently and though how true...
We long to find someone who has been where we've been, who shares our fragile skies, who sees sunsets with the same shades of blue
Ok so I found it in a cartoon character ...(I'm a misfit what do you  
Truthfully this is what I miss the most about my husband ... He was that person. We saw our sunsets the same.... But what we didn't see was that we wouldn't be walking into it together. 

I had a dear friend say to me recently " I envy your ability to feel so much. " 
Well sometimes I sure wish that wasn't the case. I wish I could hide away watching silly cartoons and not have some stupid meltdown because I can feel its pain.  I feel raw, scarred, unfixable. I feel shattered in a million pieces and curled up in a ball of excruciating pain all at the same time. 

I've had my life shattered before. Nothing of course to this degree but I was thinking the other day about this and said to the Lord. "In the past when you brought my life back to a place of restoration I would always look back and say...Wow how did I get here!  Lord this time I want to see the journey." So I guess I'm getting what I asked for.  And if I'm feeling it I'm blogging it so you all get to go along for the ride...yippy!  Richard was always my filter and would tell me "honey don't blog that or say that". Well he's not here to be that anymore so you get the unabridged version...the complete uncensored uncut grieve version. LOL
Well here was King Moonracer's advice to Rudolph…and it’s not too shabby for a cartoon character so I think I’ll follow it…and get off this island.  
(This version made me laugh… it’s the soundtrack fromRudolph but with Disney characters …talk about misfits…lol)

Monday, November 26, 2012

15 minutes of fame

My dear little cousin said to me this Thanksgiving weekend as I gathered with loved ones. “Take my picture and put it on your blog because I want to be famous.” 
Ok so he has us on a wee bit of a pedestal…hahaha
Of course I had to oblige…and like any good cousin… no matter how old you are…I felt completely compelled to post the pictures of him being teased.
Lil Ricky and Shannie make a great double team for that.

When you get around family you find things out about yourself.  I realized why I hate my picture taken and why I stay on the other side of the camera.... It’s in my genes!  No adult wanted their picture taken and although I made them anyway I promised not to blog them. So you will just have to take my word for it that we had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend together.

We had great fun with photo booth on my ipad…and laugh so hard we hurt!
This app should be required at all family functions…lol

Lil Ricky got passed around like a turkey leg.
And the only willing subject besides my fame hungry cous that would allow me to post his picture was my sweet brother- in- law.
This is a man that deserves more then 15 minutes of fame because he served us for many years in the U.S. Navy, which he just recently retired from.
Thank you Glen we are proud of you brother!
Oh and he made the wonderful turkey!
So Brian and Glen say goodbye to your privacy…because I’m most certain the minute this post the paparazzi will be camped at your doorstep.
Thank You to all my family for making my Thanksgiving beautiful!   I could not have made it through without you.
I love you all dearly!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

How to train your dog to attack

A big thanks to my two "very willing" subjects.
Note: No dog or human were harmed in the making of this blog post.

Friday, November 23, 2012

I see Jesus

People’s acts of kindness have more impact on me then they will ever know right now.
The word says that God has poured out his love into our hearts. What that says to me is God shows his love through our love for one another and every time someone does even the smallest kindness for me …I see Jesus
With every text that just says …I love you
…I see Jesus
With every phone message that says I’m thinking of you….
…I see Jesus
With ever kind word written or spoken to me
…I see Jesus
With every thoughtful gift… from postcards to flowers…to even bags of coffee :)

 (Sorry Wawa family...what can I say...I'm grieving.)

And everything in-between…

...I see Jesus.
You have become his voice for me…loud and clear telling me he loves me….he’s thinking of me…he is with me.
Now my pray is Lord let someone see you in me today.
Let me be your voice loud and clear as your pour out your love into my heart for them.

Let them see Jesus too.