My last first

This week is our wedding anniversary. I made it through my first Thanksgiving, my first Christmas and my first Birthday without Richard. But of all my “firsts” I knew this one was going to hurt the most and I find myself already struggling as the week begins. I think because every year Richard always took his vacation around our anniversary and we would spend that time like a honeymoon and just shut off the world.  Every year but last year that is. Last year we gave our anniversary time to the Lord and helped renovate our church.  We thought we had so many more anniversaries to share.  And as I reflect on that this morning, and in some ways even struggle with it. I've came to the conclusion …"God you gave your best…you gave your Son. And although my best in comparison to yours is so flawed... it was my best...and I still freely give it to you with joy.  You knew it was our last anniversary together and why you required it I may never understand this side of heaven. But I have trusted you this far and I am not stopping now. 

Just please carry me through this week and this last first".

So for now I’m just going to use this puzzle therapy and imagine as the pieces of this puzzle come together so are the pieces of my life.