There, for the Grace of God, Go I

Six months ago Richard was promoted to heaven. However I have to say to be truthful I felt like I was sent to hell. But for God… whose love is deeper then the deepest pit of despair I don’t feel that way any longer. I have truly felt the Lord carry me through such moments of sorrow. I felt Him tenderly hold me when the darkness became so dark it would take my breath away. 

I believe the hardest adjustment for me theses 6 months (besides just missing Richard with every ounce of my being) has been the feeling like I had been plopped into someone else's world. My life just felt so foreign… like it didn’t fit me. 

But as I have come to except this is my life and find the “me” again in this strange world. I feel the world coming back under my feet. Because it sure felt ripped right out from under me.
And it doesn't feel so foreign any longer. It feels different, but I feel hopeful.

Again as I keep my eyes fixed on the promises of God that say life for His children gets brighter and brighter I find the sorrow lifting.

 The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day. Proverbs 4:18 

A lot of it has been in the little things that are starting to add up into a feeling of wholeness again. Like having days I don’t cry. I thought the first time that would occurred I would remember it forever.  But I didn’t even notice when that first day happened. I just know now I have them. 

But I know more than anything else it truly is the grace of God that is bringing me through. Yes… There, for the Grace of God, Go I. 
So happy 6 months in heaven my dear beloved Richard. By the time you turn around I'll be there. 
And yes I am hanging on my everything.