The saddest day of my life

That morning Richard was so happy because he had off for the first time in 8 days and we had nothing to do. He said we are going to watch movies and have a nice dinner and just enjoy our day. We had our prayer time and our normal enjoyable chit chat over our morning coffee with dogs weaving in and out of our feet under the table vying for a spot on our laps.  He got up at one point and said he needed to get some aspirin. I teased him and said “what’s wrong baby did I give you a headache already?”  He said “No wifey I have a back ache” and we both chuckled.  He went outside to say hi to the neighbor and while he was gone the phone rang. It was a dear friend of ours and she needed to know if we knew of a good plumber because she had no water. I told her I would have Richard call when he came back in the house.  Of course knowing my man who was very handy he called her back and said he would come take care of it.  When he got off the phone he just smiled and said at least I’m off and can help her.  He was gone for about an hour and I got a phone call from him he was coming home... I was surprised and said “wow you're done already?” He said “no she needed a new water tank” so he sent her and her husband to go get it and because it was going to take them a few hours he wanted to come home to hang with me. We played Frisbee with Jebediah and I took a bunch of pictures of them…we just had a really nice time.  We kissed goodbye a few hours later and out the door he went.  I was sitting at my computer playing a praise song and worshiping the Lord.  The dogs decided they wanted to go out so I got up and took them. I was standing  by the back fence gate, looking into the field and this feeling of unbelievable sadness came over me and I just felt something go through me…I don’t really know how to explain this part.  I started to cry and said to God “what is this? I don’t like this season you are bringing me into”…and a second later my phone rang in my hand. It was my girlfriend’s husband and he said Richard had collapsed on the ground and was not breathing.  I don’t really remember much after that everything is patchy. I remember not being able to dial the phone because I was trying to call my Mom….I don’t know how long it took me to remember it just seemed like forever. I kept saying to myself “Anna you can do this, you can dial a phone” over and over again but I just couldn’t remember.  He died instantly… I know now what I felt was him leaving.  We were one…he couldn’t leave without me knowing…because a piece of my soul went with him. So now I embark on a journey I would have never chosen for myself but I serve a God whom I trust completely and I’m hiding under His wing till the storm calms and the sun comes out again.